I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize