Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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