I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
we're so committed to being not committed
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize