she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
