I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
my shit smells like andre
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
