He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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