Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
