My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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