awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
