I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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