At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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