I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
im six kinds of drunk right now
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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