we have officially lost it.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
