I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
