he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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