they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
