he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
