kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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