Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
