Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
