the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
