no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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