State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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