if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Randomize
