remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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