What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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