All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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