I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
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he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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