Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Blood and glitter go together right?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
