I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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