In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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