Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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