Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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