Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I deserve this hangover.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
