Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
