The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
