So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
