Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
