whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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