Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
even my farts smell like vagina
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
