I wanna bring you to show and tell
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
