Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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