who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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