You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
