You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
