I just saw a hot homeless man
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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