now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
