so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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