go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize