Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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