Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
