careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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