can u get pink eye on your cock?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
