Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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