hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
