She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
