also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
