you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
