It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
