I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
