I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize