Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize