Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize
